My mother use to always say “Make sure you get with a guy who is doing something for you” and for the longest time I could not understand what she meant because all I knew was I wanted love. I had no idea that after one failed relationship after another the lessons I had learn over a period of time would lead me back to what my mother told me a long time ago. “make sure you get with someone who is doing something for you”..
In today’s time women walk around very bitter, confused, rejected and feeling worthless because they have put so much into the men they were dating, they thought that they would get the “Ultimate commitment” “Holy Matrimony” or love, respect, and integrity, but through obstacles, struggles and deception they find themselves back where they had started alone and in the loneliness the resentment sinks in. And instead of returning to “Love” or God they give into disruptive behavior which encourages self pity, depression, anxiety and living in the past.
Once we realize that all could have been avoided if we would have valued ourselves a little more, if we had taken a little more time to get to know what it is that we really want and when we are confronted by a potential partner or mate, we would have a guide line to go by. The guideline is a list of qualities and requirements that we want or expect in a mate, this list shouldn’t be over the top and not attainable, but should be reasonable . It should consist of things that are really important and not superficial such as goals, respect, love for God, responsible, willing to communicate, honest, loyal oh yeah and let’s not forget “Easy on the eyes”. It is very important that at least you be attracted to this person, one must have a visual connection first to get to the next phase of the potential dating process.
As women, we are nurturing, loving beings, we want to be appreciated, adored, and cherished, its the energy in the relationship that keeps us encouraged to be the best women we can be to our mate and when we are not honoring ourselves by neglecting our personal and emotional needs we allow trespass and abuse. Women must learn to accept responsibility for their actions, men are only going to treat you the way you allow yourselves to be treated by them. We have no control over what people do, you can only manipulate the situation for only so long before it backfires and pursuing someone you have to control is not the energy I want. I have wasted so much time in relationships , spending time with men, giving them my body and for what?… Nothing. I got nothing out of a few orgasms, to be honest I didn’t receive anything that I couldn’t do for myself to let the truth be known. What was these guys bringing to the table? Where they trying to help me better myself? Where they trying to help me take care of my child or helping me keep food in my house? No not one guy offered to do anything except sleep in my bed and go out from time to time and at the end of the relationship I felt drained, misused and taken for granted.
Today I’m a different woman, now I take my time in getting to know someone and I don’t make any man my world. They say when you give someone your all they will see everything but you. In today’s time life is too short not to have everything in life you want.. Settle for nothing! Have requirements, goals and standards that you live by. Its about “fair exchanges no robbery” .. No longer am I wasting my time on men who only want casual sex or a casual partner. I am “Wife Material”. If a man can’t help the woman who he claims to love, then I am not the one. I am not seeking for “Lets do this together because at my age, I don’t have that kind of time, if I was in my early twenties then yes, but at my age, its about helping me walk next to you. But in the meantime I will do for myself and not allow anyone to pee on my leg and tell me its raining.. I know what I bring to the table, but what is “He doing for you?” What is he bringing to the table that is going to edify you and encourage you to be a better woman/wife for him?
